The Name Game

We'll be playing the name game soon as I'm almost at 20 weeks and I got a real kick out of this list to live by! Good thing none of our name choices are on EITHER of these lists. But to be honest, I have considered Willow - and Allora - both because I like them and because I did love that Val Kilmer movie. Sigh. Oh well! Anyway, this is all in good fun, so don't take this too seriously. Just for a laugh!

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BEST
hans: best movie villain ever, there’s nothing cooler
ignatious: get iggy with it
mayo: way better than miracle whip.
typhys: the one, the only…typhys!!
happy: it’s so cute when you say, “happy, stop crying.”
hysteria: oh the tantrums she will throw
mumps: it’s one swell name
hero: who wouldn’t love a baby named after a sandwich?
bum: they all borrow money growing up, so why not?
mary: she’ll be walking on clouds
naught: sometimes you feel like a naught, sometimes you don’t
bill: hopefully no one will ever run out on him
jezebel: all the bad boys will love you
emerson: proves that you’re well read without having to show your book collection
nemo: always against the current
henry: good candy bar and it’s fonzi’s real name
gwendolyn: so bad…it’s good tyranny: she’ll never have to worry about other kids stealing her toys
pharaoh: spoil him rotten or else
madison: a born shopper, will have credit card number memorized by age 6
maximus: born with a big sword
miles: new york marathon, here i come
pirate: don’t forget to put lime juice in his formula
ace: future world poker champion
homer: prefers donuts to teething rings
cannon: a true son of a gun
speck: unless he has pointy ears, then name him Spock
harper: no one will question why they’re bizarre
june: she’ll be a good mom, likely to marry a ward
andromeda: the astrologer in you says, “yes”, the bad speller in you says, “no”
dante: if he has a widow’s peak, you can call it dante’s peak
aloha: it’s much better than, say, pineapple pete
bart: make sure his rattle doubles as a slingshot
elvis: load up on peanut butter and banana baby food
rusty: after a bath, dry thoroughly
abra: i wanna reach out and grab ya

WORST
abacus: will always be in the shadow of his cousin calculator
theodora: even “baby names for dummies” excludes this one
aerilyn: is your baby an alien?
nixon: most likely to go by nickname…crook
opal: pretentious cheap gem
ripley: believe it or not. not
cameron: makes you think of Kirk. then you gag.
acne: name his other siblings pus and zit
parker: perfect…for a valet
satchel: bag and tote are better alternatives
kohinoor: american equivalent…pointdexter
brooklyn: will always feel inferior to manhanatties
armani: he’ll never be able to start his own designer label
dandelion: dandelions spread easy. nuff said
sidney: do you really want to name your kid after an ohio city?
shiloh: people named neil will always call your name
innocent: it won’t seem so cute when she’s fourteen and pregnant
mason: why not “plumber” or “roofer”?
warwick: stop the war! give peace a chance
reed: rhymes with greed
indigo: you wouldn’t name your kid “purple” would you?
willow: never name your kid after a val kilmer movie
angel: unless she/he has wings…don’t do it
heaven: her husbands joke will be…life with heaven is hell
infinity: how many mpgs does she get?
gertrude: she’ll grow into it. if she lives to be ninety
jordan: do you really think they’ll “be like mike”?
chastity: see innocent
justice: prison id #54452
jersey: otherwise known as “armpit”
suri: we would make a joke. but tom would have us killed
clementine: eternal sunshine of the thoughtless name
charbonet: your parents really meant chardonay paris: name your children after saints…not sluts